I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
