That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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