Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
