I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize