He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
