Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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