Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
