You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
