Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
