I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
