bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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