I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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