im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
