So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
