my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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