Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
