I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
