I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
