So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
