so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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