so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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