it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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