Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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