please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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