Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize