You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
