her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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