Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Text me some of your sweat
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
