Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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