i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
