My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
