And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
