You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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