Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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