Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
