I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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