Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize