Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
