He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
