"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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