great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
