What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
