Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
