Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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