Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
