uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You ate ashes out of my bong
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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