the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im drinking this country out of the recession.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
