Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I deserve this hangover.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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