Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
