I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
