it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
