Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
