what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
