need another drink. this is the easiest way
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
