What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
