This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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