I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
