im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
