Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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