i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There are leaves in my underwear?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
