I will die if light touches me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
